While women often prepare for and discuss pregnancy with their friends before, during, and after pregnancy, men often walk into a first pregnancy as clueless as T.J. Watt at a dance recital. My most important recommendation is for you to be supportive! There are actually documented scientific studies showing women who have a supportive partner have lower rates of preterm delivery and growth problems with their babies. There are many ways to be supportive, and the first step should be asking her how you can help. The second step should be following through with her requests.

How to Calculate the Due Date?

A commonly asked question is how do you calculate the due date? This is based on the woman’s last menstrual period, or an early ultrasound exam. Remember, a normal pregnancy is approximately 40 weeks after the first day of a woman’s last menstrual period.

What Happens During Each Trimester of Pregnancy?

What is going on during the first trimester? Most women will need much more rest than usual, so don’t be surprised by additional naps and earlier bed times. Many women will have intense nausea and vomiting, at all times of the day, not just in the morning, although, not all women experience this. Mood swings are very common, and not just in future moms, but future dads may experience this, too!

What should you expect in the second trimester? This is when most women feel their best during their pregnancy. Most women will start to “show” around this time, will have increased energy, and usually the nausea and vomiting is gone. Around 20 weeks (plus or minus a few), many women will start to feel the baby move, which is very exciting! Sorry dad, typically it will be much later before you feel the movement.

And what happens in the final stretch, the third trimester? Well get ready dad, this is usually when the future mom is the most uncomfortable.  Very commonly, she will have difficulty sleeping as well as walking. As she wonders if she is ready for an infant, anxiety and nerves start to set in, but oftentimes, so does a new level of excitement. All of these changes in feelings are perfectly normal!

Is it OK to Have Sex While She's Pregnant?

Okay, so the most important question, right? Can we have sex during pregnancy? In short, yes. There are some conditions that your OB/GYN will recommend are unsafe to have intercourse, so if you are unsure, ASK, but generally speaking it is totally safe. Keep in mind that as your partner’s belly gets bigger, you will need to try new positions and be considerate, if intercourse is uncomfortable for your partner.

How to Prepare for Labor?

Another great question is how can YOU prepare for labor? First, learn how to get to the hospital, where it is, the labor and delivery entrance, and even take a tour, so you are comfortable with the hospital where your baby will be delivered.

The most important thing is to support your partner in any way you can, within the boundaries of her needs. At times labor is a long process, and you might be in the hospital delivery room for quite a while. Bring things to help pass the time such as games, movies, cards, or something your partner enjoys. You can also help time her contractions as well as massaging her back and shoulders to help her relax in between contractions (if this helps her relax). Once pushing starts, words of encouragement are always welcome. If you want to be involved with cutting the cord, make sure your delivering physician knows prior to delivery. As long as baby appears healthy, we are happy to accommodate this special moment! But remember, don’t be a tough guy, if you feel weak or light-headed sit down.

Secondly, make sure you have a rear facing car seat installed. Your baby cannot leave the hospital without one! Safercar.gov has many tips on picking and installing a car seat.

Additionally, yes you, dad, need to get vaccinated. If it is flu season, get your flu shot, and you also should get your Tdap vaccine at least two weeks prior to delivery. Unfortunately, your partner’s OB/GYN cannot give you the vaccinations, however, most local pharmacies offer them.

When Do We Get to Go Home?

Typically, babies are released to go home within 24-48 hours of a vaginal delivery. If a cesarean section is required, mom may need to stay a little longer for pain control.

Can I be involved in breast feeding? Well, obviously, some parts of breastfeeding can only be performed by mom. Some partners love for the dad to bring the baby to her for feeding, then he can take care of burping and changing the baby after, and then rocking the baby to sleep. However, some partners do not want you involved in this part of care. Ask your partner if she would like you to help with any of these tasks. If your partner is pumping, or bottle feeding, this is a great opportunity for you to give mom some much needed rest while you bond by bottle feeding baby.

What is Post Partum Depression?

It is very common for moms to feel sad or anxious after delivery. Mild feelings of depression or anxiety are called postpartum blues. Typically this only lasts a week or two, if the symptoms are extreme, or last longer it could be postpartum depression, which is a more serious condition. If you feel postpartum depression is occurring, it is important to contact your partner’s OB/GYN. Some signs include the blues getting worse or lasting too long, feelings of sadness which interrupt the normal routine and mom cannot care for herself or her baby, changes in appetite, decreased pleasure, and many other things. The most concerning sign would be thoughts of self-harm or suicide, which while rare, is obviously very serious. If ANY of these symptoms occur, or you are concerned as a Dad, it is okay for you to be the one to call your partner’s OB/GYN’s office!

Can We Have Sex Again After Delivery?

The primary question on your mind is….. so when can we have sex again? In general we advise no intercourse for 6 weeks after delivery….sorry, Dad.

Remember, your partner’s OB/GYN is here to help you and be a resource for you through this exciting and terrifying time!

And remember dads; you can ask questions at appointments too. As always, it is encouraged that you discuss any concerns you have with your partner’s physician. Call (817) 741-2601 with questions or concerns.